what’s in a name?
I’m quite obsessive about language. I studied English Literature at A Level and find the etymology of words fascinating. Words are emotive - we all hold associations with them and our associations are all different. But what does this have to do with birth? Well, I believe quite strongly that words hold a lot of power over our mindset.
Hi, I’m Rhi, a mother of 2, a fully qualified hypnobirthing teacher and founder of Birth BeYOUtifully with Rhi. I offer group and 1:1 hypnobirthing classes in Leeds and online and through these I help women enter their births feeling calm, confident and empowered.
Juliet famously stated “What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet” and she’s right - calling a rose by anything else doesn’t change the fact that it’s a rose but it might change how you feel about it.
One example of this from birth would be ‘contraction’. How does that word make you feel? For some women, it instantly makes them think of pain. They’ve spent their lives being told contractions hurt so they fear them. For that reason, lots of hypnobirthing teachers prefer to call them ‘surges’ or ‘waves’. They’re still the same physical thing but I imagine the things you associate with ‘surges’ or ‘waves’ are very different to those you associate with ‘contractions’. We all have emotional responses to words and each of us responds differently. A simple adjustment to language can change the way we feel about things.
Some women find ‘contraction’ has connotations of pain that they’d prefer to avoid, others find it fine. Some women find ‘wave’ relaxing because of its links with beaches and the sea, others don’t like it. It’s worth thinking about which you prefer while you’re thinking about your birth so your healthcare providers know how you would like them to be referred to. Which is your favourite? Why?
It’s worthwhile spending some time with your birth partner considering any language that brings any negative connotations for mind for YOU and jotting these down on your birth preferences.
One of the benefits of studying hypnobirthing with me is that we can choose any word you like to describe the physical sensations of labour and birth. We can call them ‘unicorns’ if that works for you! My courses are taught to YOU and not to a blind audience online. We will dig deep and find what works for you around all aspects of your birth journey.
Another example of language use in birth that I would advise against is the word ‘pain’. I prefer to talk about ‘discomfort’ or ‘sensations’ because if the body is expecting pain, it feels pain more deeply. Use of this word is one way you might inadvertently enter the ‘Fear-Tension-Pain’ cycle, which you will learn more about on one of my courses. We naturally fear pain because pain means something is wrong. But the sensations of birth are the sensations of an incredibly powerful muscle (the uterus) doing its job - nothing is wrong, everything is working as it should.
So how can you ensure your healthcare providers don’t talk to you about ‘contractions’ or ‘pain’ or anything else you’d prefer they didn’t? I suggest putting anything like this on your birth preferences. I’m not going to promise you your healthcare team will get it right every time but if you write it down for them, they’ll know what you want and will consider their language choice where they can.
Want more insight into how to get the best birth for YOU? Book your space on one of my hypnobirthing courses here.
Yours,
Rhi x
