the fourth trimester - top tips
Yay! You’ve had your baby - congratulations! The hard part is over… Or, is it? You’re now in what many are now calling ‘the fourth trimester’ (the first 3 months after having your baby) and your life is unrecognisable.
You’re exhausted
You’re still healing from birth
Your baby won’t be put down
You’re constantly feeding them
You’re in pain
You’re exhausted
You and your partner are arguing more than you ever have
You’re exhausted
Your washing machine is constantly on
Your kitchen is a mess
You’re exhausted
I could go on but I think you probably get it. If you’ve ever been in the fourth trimester, you’ll know what a difficult period of adjustment it is. In the western world, we don’t really have a great tradition of nurturing new families during this time and helping mother and baby to bond while mother heals. Instead, we have a culture and expectation that mother ‘bounces back’ and allows family and friends to come hold her baby while she entertains them. Sound familiar? Did you prepare for your fourth trimester?
If you’re pregnant now, you have the opportunity to plan your fourth trimester to ensure you rest as much as possible and support your body in healing. If I were preparing for my fourth trimester again, here are 3 things I would be doing:
Joining a prenatal Pilates class. Pilates is a fantastic exercise when you’re pregnant. It works to strengthen the core muscles, which carry your baby, and also teaches you how to correctly strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Midwives often ask “are you doing your exercises?” without really clarifying which exercises they mean. In a bleary-eyed new-Mummy state, most of us just nod and move on but those of us who have done Pilates know exactly how and when to do our pelvic floor exercises. Whatever type of birth you have, this will aid your recovery.
Find out as much as possible about realistic expectations of newborn behaviour (sleep!). I genuinely had no idea about newborn sleep when I had my first son. It was a massive shock and I thought something must be wrong with him or with what we were doing. Had I done some research when pregnant (or had any of my antenatal education been of any use), I would have known that he was exactly as he should be and we weren’t doing anything wrong. Newborns do not sleep like we do and after 9 months being constantly comfortable, warm and full, the first few months of life for them are an enormous shock so they naturally need lots of contact from us. Knowing about newborn sleep expectations and safety is so helpful and important.
Learn to relax deeply and prioritise time to yourself. The fourth trimester is a huge adjustment and learning curve and having time alone can feel impossible but is so important to your mental health. Getting used to taking this time in pregnancy makes it more likely that you’ll continue doing so in the fourth trimester. Learning to do this is just one of many benefits of a hypnobirthing course, which research has shown will also improve your birth outcomes, in turn improving the beginning of your fourth trimester.
Do you want to prepare yourself fully for the fourth trimester? Don’t miss ‘Beyond The Birth’ - an opportunity to prepare for your 4th trimester, learning essential tools with your partner to ease the transition into parenthood. Led by 3 industry experts, Michele (Hug and Snug Sleep Consultancy), Louise (Physio Led Pilates) and Rhi (Birth BeYOUtifully With Rhi), you will leave this workshop feeling so well-informed ahead of the next phase of your journey into parenthood. Book your place here.
Yours,
Rhi x
